Weight Reduction by Using Negative Weight Motor Oil

"Wobbles the Mind" (wobblesthemind)
06/26/2016 at 19:24 • Filed to: Oil, Shitpost

Getting serious about weight reduction. I’ve been messing around with motor oil that claims to be zero weight but it still feels like all the bottles weigh about the same to me. Using critical thinking, I’ve determined that zero weight means that the oil adds zero weight to the standard total weight of motor oil your engine needs to run effectively. So are there any good negative weight oils I can use for weight reduction?

My assumption is if you poured equal amounts of 10W-30 and -10W-30 motor oil into an engine, they would cancel out and become the equivalent of using just 0W-30. Thus if I just pour in some -30W motor oil into the motor I’ll save 30 weights! Now, I’m not sure what a “weight” is in American units. It sounds British to me like stone.

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It says that a single hundredweight is equal to 8 stones /50.8 kg / 112 pounds . So if a “weight” is 10% of a hundredweight then the total amount of 0W motor oil my engine carries must be around 11.2 pounds. That sounds about right to me since five quarts of oil is about all I needed to keep it running good and stuff. If I can just find some -10W motor oil, I can drop my fluid weight down to a total of 1.2 pounds! If any of you know where I can find some negative weight oil, let me know!!

DISCUSSION (16)

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Wobbles the Mind
06/26/2016 at 19:27

Good oppo is good.

CB > Wobbles the Mind
06/26/2016 at 19:31

Is it shitpost o’clock already?

LongbowMkII > Wobbles the Mind
06/26/2016 at 19:31

So stupid.

A weight would be 1/100th of a hundred weight. Making it 1.12lbs.

Anyways you’d find much better gains by replacing your gearbox and diff oil. That stuff is up to 90 weight! Leave the engine oil swap to the professionals.

Wobbles the Mind > LongbowMkII
06/26/2016 at 19:36

I don’t thing it’s actually a hundredwieght but more of a tenweight and the Brits romanticized the term. Much like how their quarters weigh 28 cents instead of 25 cents. The exchange rate throws things off.

*Edit: Sorry forgot my units. One quarter is equal to 28 pounds which would be about $37.64 USD right now, probably due to Brexit and the textile industry. So yeah, way more than 1/100.

interstate366, now In The Industry > Wobbles the Mind
06/26/2016 at 19:37

sure

The Lurktastic Opponaught > Wobbles the Mind
06/26/2016 at 19:40

The logic is sound. Point Wobbles.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Wobbles the Mind
06/26/2016 at 19:41

I'm not 100% convinced that's how it works.

MountainRoadPhysicist > Wobbles the Mind
06/26/2016 at 19:47

Best thing for you is a turboencabulator.

Urambo Tauro > Wobbles the Mind
06/26/2016 at 19:51

I think the performance effect would be even more pronounced if such oil was routed through cross-drilled/slotted lines for maximum cooling...

Wobbles the Mind > Urambo Tauro
06/26/2016 at 19:58

I know an old hotrodder’s trick is tossing a couple of ice cubes into the fuel tank.

The Lurktastic Opponaught > Wobbles the Mind
06/26/2016 at 20:02

Huh, I’d heard sugar cubes.

The Lurktastic Opponaught > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
06/26/2016 at 20:04

The negative weight oil is only distributed in Australia. That's how they screw you.

The Lurktastic Opponaught > MountainRoadPhysicist
06/26/2016 at 20:13

It's the most cromulent solution.

Wagon, semi manual, not brown, turbo because volvo > Wobbles the Mind
06/26/2016 at 22:11

I am pretty sure that’s not how it works. But I applaud your creativity and wish you luck in your endeavours. Why stop at -10w.... surely there must be a -50w-20. Oppositeland race oil...

We must embiggen the mind and spirit for a cromulent tomorrow.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Wobbles the Mind
06/26/2016 at 22:42

ATF of course. It’s so light they don’t even list a weight for it. Use it in all places where oil or grease is normally used. And don’t forget about oxygenated fuel, because that stuff is quite a bit lighter too. And the best “fluid” mod of all is to fill the cabin and AC system with helium (then just run a snorkel through the roof so you can breath).

sdwarf36 > Wobbles the Mind
06/26/2016 at 23:00

There IS less that zero weight oil. https://www.brocksperformance.com/Less-than-0W-A…

Even your wallet will be lighter.